A few weeks ago I caught up with a couple of friends in Bairnsdale. On two evenings I took very different photos a sunset and a cloudy sky (see earlier post) Then, the week before Easter I took my first walk at Birdsland since the fires. I was upset by the damage but also pleased with how, so soon, the green is starting to come back.
On Easter Monday, Ben and I went for a drive into the hills. I wanted to see for myself the damage on the Black Spur, and to have a look at Marysville, where I had been to several conferences and always planned to go back to. I thought I would find material for 'arty" photos and ignored the nagging doubt about whether or not it was the right thing to do.
I should have listened to the inner me.
When we arrived the places was absolutely packed. I have never seen so many cars in the town. Everyone was walking around with cameras and I thought of flies around a dung heap. I felt sick and couldn't stop or get out of the car. I couldn't even stop to have a look at the guest house where I used to stay. To be honest, I found it very hard to orientate myself anyway. Anyway,I felt we were all voyeurs and vultures and just wanted to get out of town, I felt so ashamed to be part of it.
So I have no photos of Marysville or any little parts thereof, just an abiding sadness for what has gone. I also have the knowledge that my first instincts are usually right, that I am unlikely to ever be able to make art of something which has caused others so much pain and I certainly couldn't be a photo journalist, much as I might admire them.
So, here's to new beginnings 
And here's a digital collage using the cloudy night and one of my burnt forest photos.
2 comments:
Once I saw a dead seagull. It was lying on the beach, and surrounding it were it's seagull group, arranged in a circle, all facing in silently, as if to pay homage to the dead bird. Silently witnessing it's fate and marking it in some un fathomable bird way.
I will alwys remember that, as if we are drawn to witness a passing. Maybe that is what brings the tourists there.
Perhaps you're right. Maybe I'm being too harsh with myself and others. I have felt very drawn to those places and I really did want to spend some money, but it all felt so wrong. I wonder what locals thought of the circus.
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